Archive for: June, 2013

Grant me some science

Jun 27 2013 Published by under Uncategorized

I've been spending the last few weeks teaching in an intensive summer course in my field. This involves spending long hours in the lab teaching teaching eager grads and postdocs how to do the latest techniques, and every time I do this I'm reminded of how fun it is to do labwork. So far we've tested some new ideas, some better than others, and I've come up with a bunch of cool follow-up experiments to do at home. Unfortunately, I doubt that I'll actually get around to doing those cool experiments, since at home I don't really get much of a chance to spend time in the lab. What do I do? I write grants mostly. Which is silly, because a job that nowdays requires you to spend 75% of your time writing something that has a 90% likelihood of going unfunded is basically a waste of time. Time which could be better spent actually DOING science, writing papers and actually learning something.
So how can we improve this? I can't really write faster than I do now, I'm quite saturated on that front. Funding isn't going to get better and a systemic fix is unlikely to happen soon. Crowdfunding one's science is just a silly idea that's not sustainable in the long run for supporting a lab and staff, and which anyway would also take a huge amount of time. So what's left is to improve the efficiency of the grant submission and writing process. How? Hire someone to write the grants! Although I've never met one, nor do I know anyone who's used one, allegedly these people exist. Wouldn't it be nice if you could sit with someone for a couple of hours and outline some experiments and point them to relevant background material and then they go and write the thing for you? The ideas would still be yours, just the actual writing is done by someone who is a trained writer, who can put things much more clearly and eloquently than you can. Someone who can make your science sound exciting! And I don't want someone who will read and edit my grant, this takes twice the time. I want someone to just write the damn thing and hand me a polished draft. This would ideally be a person with a PhD in science and some sort of writing degree or professional training. And I think University grant offices should pay for these people's services. It's to their benefits that PI's send higher quality grants AND also have time to do high-quality science. Rather than playing the mostly bureaucratic and sometimes obstructive roles in the grant submission process, grants offices could become hotbeds of creativity, productively cranking out grant after high-quality grant proposal.
But of course that's just a pipe, dream. I should stop procrastinating and go back to working on my grant. It's due on Tuesday.

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