Despite my carefully crafted holiday gift guide, I instead received this:
It's not totally random. A few years back we were driving in Maine and pulled into an old antique store. You know the type: an old barn stuffed with all sorts of old junk, from dusty accordions, to cast iron skillets to discarded taxidermy. In this store I saw this beautiful stuffed chicken which I totally wanted to get, but somehow I ended up not doing it and have regretted it since. Thus, supercool wife decided to, well, get me a taxidermy chicken.
He now resides in my office to keep me company. I can't wait until the students come back and start complaining about their grades. Then I can just lift up my hand and say "Nope, go tell it to the bird..."